on 22 nov, i recieved an email while i was busy with my work. it created a big hoo- ha in both the transhipment & my dept. at last, i finally had the time to read it. it was an invitation to a bintan trip. i wasn't feeling excited at all. i knew the date was going to be fixed on 3 & 4 dec which i was not free.

initally i had made up my mind that i'm going to give it a miss. yet, after browsing through the resort webbie, i was tempted to go. on the 3 dec i have to attend dear's friend church wedding which i had promised him long ago. i knew i could easily told dear that i decided not to attend the wedding. but a promise is a promise. it must be kept.

the good news for this trip was eveyone in the co has been fully sponsered & we could actually invited our friends to join (provided each indiviual has to pay 250 bucks). in fact sounds good right?

if dear dun have any church wedding invitation, we could use this opportunity for a retreat. but sad to say its just a wishful thinking of mine. i had also thought of all my close friends. but they were either busy or studying. who would actually fork 250 bucks to accompany a friend for 2 days 1 night? the worst part was my friend (the only one i'm close with) bought along her bf. of course everything will feel awkward & i dun wish to be a gooseberry. though i'm on good terms with my colleagues, we are not closely knited. the worst part was, i had forgotton how many times i had told my colleagues that dear wasn't free when they asked. it seems to be rubbing salt onto my wound >.< on the other hand, i feel like going. i would love to enjoy the scenery. but everyone has their own clique which is hard to fit in. i'm torn apart. my colleagues & manager urged me to go since it was a rare opportunity.

how i wish...
1. dear could go with me
2. to be more understanding
3. to be selfless

i'm not the happy-go-lucky girl that everyone percieves..