dear has returned from his HKG vacation. by right i should feel happy. yet i feel so lost and upset. i always believe that God has been always fair to everyone and every human on earth has certain missions to accomplish. i wonder what is my mission.

in the past, i have been always making my life difficult.. many times, i rather choose the hard way even though i have the option to choose the easy way out. and now for this job, i dunno if i should continue(its not very much related to logistics) . i accepted this job as i think God wanted me to do so. sometimes i wonder perhaps He wanted to prepare me for "something". yet at times, i couldn't help but envy peixi and wanting. they get to do something that is so much related to our course of study. i admit my work is far more challenging than them. besides doing statistics, i have to monitor Ho Chi Minh ports. i get to attend meetings which most of my friends hardly have this opportunity. should i feel much more fortunate?

i always have been slow. slow in everything. slow like a snail..... slow and steady wins the race. but have i win any race?