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still feeling blue today.. the colour of the text and the background music describes what i currently feel now.. feel like an outcast.. outcast... bb said that i think too much but things weren't longer the same anymore.. i HATE this semester.. i HATE poly.. am i at fault? is it because of my personality? i'm a quiet person. i'm not a happy-go-lucky person as what many people percieved. whenever i dun feel like talking, i just sat beside them to listen to their conversation.. they seemed to be in their own world and i just sat there admiring them. since young, i had been very "gu pi".. kept everything to myself.. when i couldn't take it any longer, i just cry out.. its the best way to let out my frustrations.. i wish i could................

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There were thoughts to shut down this space of mine but did not bear to do it since it contained memories since my teenage years.  It was until recently that i find my emotions have been unstable and there wasn't a proper channel to let it out and sometimes at the verge of snapping (several times). Then, the thought of blogging came to my mind. Perhaps, it will help me to unleash (some of) my unhappiness. Fast forward to where i left 3 years ago. Married with 2 kids (1 came last year). It was also the turning point which i thought "i can handle anything and everything" but turns out to be i'm not as strong as i thought to be. I got myself so frustrated with situations (with kids or myself). Many times i ask myself why i allow myself to land into such shitty situations. I hope i can snap out of such situations soon. 
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