My mood for today is not really good. But I dunno how to xplain it. I tend to have mood swings every now and then. Juz came back from Wei Liang's chalet. Luckily Esther didn't go or else she will feel more awkward than me cos there alot of people i dunno and i'm not that sociable. Juz now ask mum if she can help me pay for the hp first but she din say much abt it. Looks like the answer is most likely to be negative. When can I get my S200?.... Now even when I see the things I like, I also cannot buy... Have to save money.. Feeling very "xin ku". Feel like confiding all my troubles to Kailing, Dionne or Esther.. But there's always some things that I can't say it out. Maybe I can pour out all my troubles to Kailing cos she is the only one who knows what's really going on and somehow i feel more comfortable talking to the same sex. Now listening to Jay's "An Jing". Makes me feel even more sad.. Some more this song reminds me of someone. I'm always so emotional and sensitive. Cry so easily...
Choice In life, there are a lot of choices offered to us. when we are in pri sch with limited pocket money, we had to choose what should we had for recess. a bowl of noodle soup + soft drink or 1 plate of chicky rice without any drink? in sec sch, we are given a choice to choose the subjects we liked. after O's, we had to choose poly or jc. if we opt for poly, which are the courses that we are eligible. and now, i had to choose to leave or stay. well, in fact i had already made my choice. i chose to stay due to certain reasons. but as days go by, i started to feel uncertain about my choice. every morning, i drag myself to work. it feels terrible. going to work, seeing those faces that irks me (@ least things are not so bad for the time being), putting up a false front etc.. the future down the road seemed to be so unsure. it gave me a feeling that i'm travelling in a car with heavy rain pouring outside, whenever the screen wiper wipes the windscreen, the vision gets better. but...
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